A Misconception About Choice and Homosexuality

Continuing my posts inspired by the recent protests against Chik-fil-A...

I had lesbian tendencies. During my addiction to porn, I liked the lesbian videos just as much as I liked the other videos. And it was, indeed, my choice to indulge in such passions, even though they never ultimately made me happy.

Of course, most homosexuals would say that their sexual tendencies are not a choice and that they are, indeed, happy with who they are. And, to a certain extent, they would be right. But let's look at this in a bit more detail.

Choice. What does it mean when we say a person has a choice when it comes to LGBT lifestyles? There was a time when I automatically thought of the lifestyle, personality and action all as choices. And, in one sense, they are. If someone holds a knife up to your neck and tells you to choose not act on your homosexual tendencies, you do have a choice to either die or change. But such a choice is not really a free choice, as it's a forced one. Still, the situation in theory allows for the idea that a person can choose not to act on those tendencies.

But if that person does what the guy with the knife orders, does the person in himself really change? No. His or her tendencies and personality remains the same at core. We cannot force a person to change, and thus, this theoretical person could be posited as being "born this way."

That said, at the heart of Christianity is a realization of the fact that we are fallen, imperfect human beings who ask God to change our hearts through a lifetime of transformation. Catch that? It's not an immediate change. Most of us will deal with our sins and temptations for the rest of our lives, even after recognizing them as wrong. I still deal with attraction to other females. I still deal with the temptation to think about or look at pornography. And some might say I was born with that tendency. I've had it at least since I was very young. But I've chosen not to act on those tendencies.

You see, you always have a choice. And that choice does not lie in what you feel you are. It lies in what you do.

I also think many Christians fail to realize that you can have the personality of what people stereotype as a homosexual personality and still be straight - still love the Lord - still be a Christian.

How can we take the Bible at its word when it seems to condone slavery and other acts?

Continuing my posts on the recent protests against Chik-fil-A...

In discussing what the Bible says on homosexuality, I've come across many who have a misconception of what the Bible does and does not approve of. Let me lay a few summarized things out, then, for clarification.

Polygamy was never condoned by God, and the Bible states that God created man and woman, not man and woman and woman and woman. That doesn't mean people didn't practice it, though. But God used the weaknesses of man to bring about His will in spite of man's rebellion.

The Bible does not condone slavery, either. The New Testament does give advice to those in slavery to help them find some happiness and contentment within their obviously evil circumstances. But slavery is never said to be good, right, or permissible.

Similarly, bestiality, incest and rape are things that happen the the Biblical accounts, but the Bible and God never support them. Quite the opposite.

1 Cor 6 - "8 No, you yourselves do wrong and cheat, and you do these things to your brethren! 9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,[a] nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God." Also check out Leviticus 18: 6-18 and 1 Timothy 1:9-10.

I’ve done my research, as have many atheists who have become Christians. I’m not going to base my political position on the gay marriage issue on my Christian beliefs alone. But when it comes to the Bible, the research has led me to believe it is all true. And if it is all true, I cannot go against it moral truths/statements, no matter how much I want to.

After the Addiction: Dreams and Nightmares

I think it's about time I got real on this blog. I've been posting a lot of intellectual, doctrine-focused posts because that's what my heart is after, and I'll continue to post on those things, but I started this blog as a resource for those dealing with addictions, and it's about time I got real and talked a bit more in detail about my personal stories (more to come).

Last night I had a nightmare. Not like the kind you have when you're a child and wake in the night to screaming - to yelling for your parents. No, mine scare me far more than that, but they keep me silent. Far worse than those back to school nightmares I so often have, the nightmares I really hate, the dreams I had last night, involve sex. My past, although dealt with, is so much a part of me today that I just can't seem to get away from it completely. My parents have told me that our temptations never go away all together, even with a changed heart, and we just have to learn to deal with it and say no to the sin. After all, it's not a sin to be tempted - just to act on temptation.

Originally, back when I was still dealing with my pornography addiction, my sexual dreams just peeked my interest and drew me back in. Ever since I made a solid commitment with my purity ring, those dreams have changed slightly. They're still sexual, but it's almost as if Satan knows he has lost and thus has opted to put aside tempting me in exchange for reminding me of my past and taunting me for my inability to control my dreams.

Let me stop you right here if you're having similar dreams. You have no control over your dreams. If you dream about sex, you are not sinning in your sleep, no matter how real it seems. Satan is attacking you, and you need to guard your mind. The best we can do is turn to God before and after we go to bed, making sure we always have His word on our minds when we fall asleep.

I had one of those terrible dreams last night. It always seems so real. In the dream, I'm myself thinking about sex and dreaming about sex, and I look at my purity ring and tell myself I've failed and then go on with thinking things I hate. Last night, in particular, felt more real than usual. I woke up feeling torn, like a failure. I had to remind myself that it was only a dream and that I cannot let Satan win. I must push on, as must you. 

Have you ever had any similar dreams? Are you sinning in your sleep? What steps do you take to clear your mind and keep from dwelling on something that is not real?

Undone by God's presence: Not one is righteous

I love the description of God's presence as disturbing - of Isaiah (chapter 6) being "undone" by God's presence as he realizes he is so imperfect and lost. Many people have a hard time realizing this. They think God is all about their revelation of love and refuse to see the truth because they're too busy justifying themselves as self-righteous beings.

As a former porn addict still dealing with obesity and food addiction issues, I come to this realization - that I am undone by God, but that Christ saves me - over and over again. It took me so long to get there, too. I can't tell you how many times I woke up in the middle of the night thinking my parents would be raptured and I'd be left behind because I was stuck in my sin. All that time, I was saved. I had accepted Christ in simplicity and was still growing in a process of sanctification. No one is perfect, not even after saving grace, but Christ washes away our sins.

Still, I tremble at the thought of judgment day. I know what I have done, and I know a whole lot more sin will be revealed to me one day. I am undone.

How should the reality that you are a sinner affect the way you live life?

Hank Hanegraaff Answers: Does Repetitive Sin Mean We Aren't Save

Hank Hanegraaff has a wonderful explanation for those who question whether they are really saved. In the video below, he notes that you can keep slipping on board the boat, but you can't slip when you're already sinking. You can slip on board, but you do not want to slip overboard. Your salvation is not based on your feelings. It is based on the promises of God. Watch the video below for more.

Headaches and Addictions: The Real Cure

Addictions are like headaches. Sometimes they start our small and grow bigger until you can't handle the pain any longer. Other times, they sneak up on you and blast your head with nonstop pounding.

You could take some medicine to lessen the pain. But there are many different headache relief options out there. You could choose the wrong one. And then there are those of us who ignore the ibuprofen, as we think we can duke it out on our own.

But we can't. We can't get rid of temptation and sin through our efforts alone. We need the right medicine. We need God. It's only through him that we can triumph over evil.