A Misconception About Choice and Homosexuality

Continuing my posts inspired by the recent protests against Chik-fil-A...

I had lesbian tendencies. During my addiction to porn, I liked the lesbian videos just as much as I liked the other videos. And it was, indeed, my choice to indulge in such passions, even though they never ultimately made me happy.

Of course, most homosexuals would say that their sexual tendencies are not a choice and that they are, indeed, happy with who they are. And, to a certain extent, they would be right. But let's look at this in a bit more detail.

Choice. What does it mean when we say a person has a choice when it comes to LGBT lifestyles? There was a time when I automatically thought of the lifestyle, personality and action all as choices. And, in one sense, they are. If someone holds a knife up to your neck and tells you to choose not act on your homosexual tendencies, you do have a choice to either die or change. But such a choice is not really a free choice, as it's a forced one. Still, the situation in theory allows for the idea that a person can choose not to act on those tendencies.

But if that person does what the guy with the knife orders, does the person in himself really change? No. His or her tendencies and personality remains the same at core. We cannot force a person to change, and thus, this theoretical person could be posited as being "born this way."

That said, at the heart of Christianity is a realization of the fact that we are fallen, imperfect human beings who ask God to change our hearts through a lifetime of transformation. Catch that? It's not an immediate change. Most of us will deal with our sins and temptations for the rest of our lives, even after recognizing them as wrong. I still deal with attraction to other females. I still deal with the temptation to think about or look at pornography. And some might say I was born with that tendency. I've had it at least since I was very young. But I've chosen not to act on those tendencies.

You see, you always have a choice. And that choice does not lie in what you feel you are. It lies in what you do.

I also think many Christians fail to realize that you can have the personality of what people stereotype as a homosexual personality and still be straight - still love the Lord - still be a Christian.

Are you ready for a purity ring? Things to consider when buying a purity ring.

Are you ready to commit? 

I thought about buying a purity ring several times before I finally bought one, and I'm glad I waited. It was not until a desperate moment in which God changed my heart forever that I knew I needed to change directions, empty my Amazon.com basket, and buy a purity ring. When I got the ring in the mail, it came with a small card for me to sign as a commitment to living a pure life. Do not sign that card, do not put that ring on, unless you are ready to commit. Otherwise, nothing will change,  you'll kick yourself every time you fail, and the ring will lose its meaning to you and likely become a reminder of your failures rather than of God's transforming grace.

Does the verse on it mean something to you?

There are a lot of options out there that just have symbols on them, and that's perfectly fine. But I chose a simple ring with a verse on it because of the reminder I knew it would provide me beyond just having something solid on my finger. My ring says "Create in me a pure heart oh Lord." It reminds me of an old worship song I once sang as a child. "And renew a right spirit within me." This is the prayer of my heart. Having it next to me 24/7 creates an amazing reminder of that prayer when I am tempted.

Do you have a purity ring? How has it helped you?

What are your questions as you consider buying a purity ring?